You know that feeling you get when you see an extremely good-looking stud? Butterflies, flight or fight responses, flushed skin, um…other side effects. Everyone’s different and I won’t begin to diagnose the right or wrong way to react. (I think that’s best saved for your gyno or your therapist.)
Turning the page. lol
When it comes to falling in love, however, there are some qualities that women tend to generally look for in a man. After scouring the interwebs reading multiple, reliable articles and even performing an interview of my own, I’ve come to the realization that there are 4 Universal Qualities Every Woman Looks for in a Man. (Note: There is a quick poll at the end. After reading this blog, please take the poll so I can get your take on this topic!)
Ok back to business. Here’s the four qualities I’ve come up with:
1.He’s hot! (what, someone had to say it)
Ok ladies, before you start stoning me and kindling the fire, let me first say this, “You know I’m right, whether you want to admit it or not!” It’s not your fault either that this is such a big deal. It’s purely biological. You want to find the “mating partner” so to speak who will produce the best possible offspring (or at least your subconscious says so), and so you look for the most attractive mate that will help you accomplish that. But how does one define “hot?” I mean everyone has a different definition. We’ve all met that pretty boy that by all means is off the charts smoking, but when you try to have an intelligent conversation with him, sparks may be flying physically, but in the background, you know those same sparks are flying into the brush and causing shit to fly up in flames. Needless to say, other factors definitely have to come into play for someone to be attractive like personality, intelligence, character and kindness (to name a few). Additionally, I believe if you want to hit “love status,” you also have to obtain the other three factors that we’ll be covering in this post.
2. He has a purpose
Nothing is sexier than a man who knows where he is going in life. If a man has a general life plan or purpose, it makes the “taking a relationship seriously” part that much easier. I equate this to the quote by J.F.K, “Efforts and Courage are not enough without Purpose and Direction.” In other words, you can put all the effort and perseverance into a relationship, but if the ox has left the cart, you’re stuck pulling the cart through the mud, and that just doesn’t sound fun…or productive. Bottom line…men with purpose are attractive and frankly, 9 times out of 10 make better long-term life partners.
3. He’s able to love
I know this part sounds a little basic, but it’s important to mention. You could put all the love in the world into a relationship, but if the man (or woman really) isn’t able to give and receive the love, then that’s a little counter-productive. “But Melissa, how do I know he is able to love before I’m even in a relationship with him?” My reply, “How do you go about deciding on buying a used car?” You get it checked by a trained mechanic, consult friends, read reviews online, and the like. Basically, you look for any clues to the reliability of the vehicle. This isn’t much different from the way you should approach the character of a person. Does he love and respect his family and friends? Treat other people with respect? Have self-respect? Treat you with love and respect? As you can see love and respect work hand-in-hand here. Basically, the proof is in the pudding.
4. He shares your values & compliments you
For any good relationship to have some lasting power, he needs to share your core values. Think about it. If you value clean, organic living and he couldn’t care less, then the relationship probably isn’t going to last long. Point being–if the major things you value can’t be valued by him (or vice versa) then the likelihood the relationship will last long, or that you’ll even be attracted to him in the first place, are slim. The second thing to consider is whether he compliments you. And no, I’m not referring to relentless compliments (although that would be awesome…for a while). By compliment, I mean is he the yin to your yang, the creamer in your coffee, the salt to your pepper, the hot sauce to your pizza…does he make you better? He needs to make up for your shortcomings to some extent, and you his, for the relationship to have any longevity.